The Elephant Rope

This second post was more recently written and published mid-December 2014.

With 2014 rapidly coming to a close, I reflect on the days passed. I don’t stay there long, but in that reflection, I can readily admit that it has been one the most difficult years of my life. If I were Stevie Nicks, this would have been my year to write “Landslide”. It has been a year of intense personal growth and hardship, and despite that declaration, I have always found that it is in those moments of growth that you find yourself facing your biggest fears. You stand up for yourself. You do the hard, but often right thing. You determine the course of your life and fight for it every step of the way. As far as I know, I only get this one shot, who knows how short, so I live my life every day trying to make the most of it all both personally and professionally. All of the failures, the heart ache, the loss, as well as the successes, the laughter, and the moments so beautiful and powerful that you can’t even believe what you are capable of doing. Personal, I know, but that’s a part of who I am, and that’s ok. All of this brought to mind the story of the Elephant Rope:

 “As a man was passing the elephants at a fair, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” the trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.”

I realize that I have at times been tied by that same rope. Held by fear, failure and judgment in a world that, in my opinion, puts too much emphasis on so many of the wrong things. I have allowed myself to be held in place by other people’s opinions and judgments, as well as some of my own. The message is simple. Take a look at your life and identify the things/people that are holding you back. Find the strength, fearlessness and willingness to break those ties. Move forward with the belief that you are free to live your life without limitation. We all are different, and releasing the expectation that someone else is going to be willing to understand and accept you for who you are is liberating. Does it really change anything if they don’t?

It was Herbert Spencer who said, “Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.” And man will I try to be BOLD whenever I can. That is the promise that I have made to myself. Cut the ties to anything that diminishes the heart and soul of who you want to be, and the life that you want to live. Be yourself and make the most of your moments. I know I will too. It won’t be perfection, but it has got to be better than the alternative. I wish you all health and happiness in the days to follow and the year to come.

 

The Power of Words

So in order to start this new blog, I feel like I need to include two previous pieces that were written for our department blog at work. They are both incredibly personal and were written years a part. They both carry messages that I am proud of and feel strongly about their inclusion. I will start with The Power of Words. This original post was written July 8, 2011, but is still printed and tucked safely in a compartment in my wallet. Its serves as reminder that words have as much power as weapons, and reminds us that we should respect that power and realize the delights and damage that we can bring to the people we interact with.

The Power of Words

A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to attend a short class on communication. One of the most important things I took away from this class was a little story of two frogs that got into some trouble one day. This simple story contains a powerful lesson, a lesson that turned my focus to work and life in general, and how we all communicate with one another.

“While hopping through the woods two frogs fell into a large pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the edge of the pit to see what could be done for their companions. When they saw that the pit was too deep and agreed that there situation as hopeless, they yelled to the two trapped frogs to prepare to meet their fate because they were as good as dead.
Unwilling to accept this fate, the frogs began to jump relentlessly. The frogs at the top shouted out that it was hopeless, and they might as well save their energy and give up. The two frogs pushed on and jumped for hours until they grew weary. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to the calls of his fellow frogs. Exhausted he resigned himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit and died.

The other frog continued to jump with all of his might. Once again his companions yelled that his efforts were useless and begged him to accept his fate like his friend. The weary frog jumped harder and harder until finally, he leaped so high that he sprang from the pit. Amazed, the other frogs celebrated his freedom and gathered around him to ask, “Why did you continue to jump when we told you that it was impossible?”

It was then that the frog explained that he was deaf, and that when he saw their gestures and shouting, he thought that they were cheering him on. What he perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and succeed against all odds.

“Your encouraging words can lift someone up and help them make it through the day. Your destructive words can cause deep wounds. They may be the weapons that destroy someone’s desire to continue living or trying. Your destructive, careless words can diminish someone in the eyes of others, destroy their influence and have a lasting impact on the way others respond to them. Be careful what you say. There is power in your words.”

Author: Unknown

 
I would like to think that for most of my life that I have been the second frog, she who has kept jumping despite what others have had to say. Which frog are you? Where do you fit into this story? Have you been the frog on the edge of the pit, doubting and negative? How have your words affected others? Your words have power. Only you can decide whether you inspire or defeat.